In light of the new leaked track, "Off That" from Jay-Z's forthcoming album, The Blueprint III featuring Degrassi alum and breakout rap artist, Drake, I've decided to do my dedication to things that we are indeed "off" of. The track includes lines like "Oversize clothes and the chains, we off that; Niggas still makin' it rain and we off that" and goes into further detail, defining which trends and customs that are of yesterday and no longer acceptable today. So what other things are we "off" of? Here's my list:
- Dressing like skanks and sluts in public. VERY few can pull this off. Rihanna is one of them. Call it stripper chic. But she's not always dressed like that. The key to dressing sexy is to not dress sexy, in my opinion. "What does that mean?" you ask? Society tells us that less is more, but I've learned that more is actually more. Skanky looking girls are a dime a dozen. Well dressed and stylish ladies are often hard to find. Be the latter.
- Excessively wearing designer labels. Ok. This one's a tough one. It's human nature to want to flaunt what you have by buying and wearing the most expensive threads that your money can buy. But I'll take a lesson learned from my upper-class high school (equivalent to Gossip Girl, but in the suburbs of Philadelphia, PA) and from F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby: Old money is classy, wealthy, chic, noteworthy, and has an overall look of importance without being as blunt as a fog horn. New money is flashy, rich, gaudy, shiny, insignificant, and for-the-moment. Yuck. Even if you don't fall into the tax bracket of the old money individuals that Fitzgerald was speaking of or my high school classmates, it is indeed possible to at least hold yourself to their superior fashion taste. There are BILLIONS of fashion lines out there. And a lot of people wear all of them. Right? WRONG. That crosses over into "gaudy" territory. Take it from me. I have some money. But you don't see me decked out head to toe in designer duds. The key is picking one designer piece per outfit and embellishing and dressing to accompany it. Ever notice that the best looking people wear a lot of things that nobody else does? Take a note.
- Getting excessively drunk...EVERY WEEKEND. That one kinda speaks for itself. It's completely ok to socially drink and enjoy the effects of alcohol. However, if you do it continuously, you not only suffer from health problems (your poooooor liver), but you become "that drunk girl/guy". No bueno. Be classy with it.
- Men in tight pants. Just say no. You are not Robin Hood, so leave the tights alone. Is it just me or was this ruled out YEARS ago when they found that tight pants resulted in low sperm counts in men? Though this might be an amazing idea for the trifling men who want to do their business and not have to worry about having children, look years down the line and ask yourself how you're going to explain to your wife why you can't have children. Self-emasculation is what I see it as, lol. *AHEM You're A Jerk video* LOL
- Tight baggy pants. This is the follow up to the one before. If you must wear tight pants *sigh*, commit to them don't wear those ugly sagging tight pants. Make a decision. OH!! one more follow-up---->
- Wearing baggy pants at the lower thighs WITH BELTS. Omg. I hate this trend. If you're gonna wear baggy pants, wear them. But it's downright ignorant to wear them damn near at your kees with a belt in the loops holding it on your body. THAT DOES NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM!!! Just stop wearing them. Baggy or skin-tight; We off them. like 5 years ago. Make sure your pants fit, boo.
- Tongue rings. One word: TRASHY. We all know why women get tongue rings. I'm not gonna get into that. My concern is how are you going to go to a job interview or even on a date with someone and try to give them a good first impression when the tongue ring does it for you within the first couple seconds. "Hi. I'm a sexual deviant. Put yourself in my mouth." No gracias. Gross.
- Flats. Sorry ladies, who thing that flats are the best things since sliced bread. Flats are for kids who can't wear heels yet. Yeah, heels can feel uncomfortable and different at first. But that's why you keep wearing them to get used to them. Flats aren't sexy. They make women's feet look like boats. I'm 5'10" and an avid high-heel wearer. But you dont have to wear them high. you can wear them low, just enough to cushion the arch in your feet. Just throw the flats away.
- Every girl thinking that she's a model. You are not. Unless you have representation or have been in actual fashion shows, you are not one. You may think it's cute that you can walk in a straight line in heels and do all of the cliché ANTM poses, but no boo. You are still not a model. If you want to be one so badly, learn your craft. Go see and agent. Get your portfolio together. Get runway classes. Get actual fashion show experience. Do something. Don't just front like you're one. Be one.
- Being useless. Let me elaborate. Being one of the billions of up-and-coming _________ Fill in the blanks. This kinda goes along with the model one. If you're gonna be someone, be it. Do what you have to do to become whatever you want to be. If it means going to school, go to school. If it means logging in some studio time to be a singer or rapper, do it. Malcolm X said, "By all means necessary", and he was right. let nothing, especially overconfidence or laziness hold you back from who are what you want to be.
~Reina de Belleza
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